Note To (Your)Self

Disclaimer: Songza's playlists have led me into a quasi-reflectional mood. Break out the Sigur Ros before reading this post.


"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." - ee cummings.

The Basics.
Travelling, especially alone, forces you to learn a lot of things about yourself, and it forces you to learn pretty quickly. 

In that sense, it is a lot like everything else you do in life. 

The Details.
I don't mean to say that travelling is like every other aspect of life. Nothing could be further from what I believe. What I'm actually saying is more along the lines of: everything you do in life has the potential to challenge you; it has the potential to show you a side of yourself that, for whatever reason, has thus been unseen. Someone who used to lead me always said something that inspired me everyday (if I'm being honest, almost everything he said inspired me, but for the sake of this blog post, we'll focus on one quote in particular). He said, "if it does not challenge you, it does not change you." It became a mantra for him, our team, and my life. 

Stop to think about it for a second, if you're reading this from the East Coast, it's 6PM. The day is over and the night is coming to a close as well. Think about what you've done today; think about all the things you've accomplished. Are you proud of what you've done or have you let today go to waste? I don't know you, reader. I don't know your life story or why you wake up in the morning. However, you've wandered onto my blog, so for all intents and purposes, you're in my world now. There is but one rule in Kiandraland (Kiandraworld? Kiandropolis?), and it's this: do one thing every day that scares you. Eleanor's words, my personal philosophy.  You only get one July 5th, 2013 in a lifetime. You may as well make it count for something other than silly tv shows (shout out to my newest obsession: Girls) and cheap food (I'm looking at you Hamm Burger). 

So by now you're thinking: okay, that's all fine and nice, Kiandra, but what does it have to do with travelling? Oh my dear, sweet reader...it has everything to do with travelling. Travelling enhances our carpe diem (read: YOLO) mentalities; it allows us to take more chances, explore more options, meet more people because when are we ever going to be in Szeged, Hungary or Krakow, Poland or Manila, Philippines again (seriously, when? I'd love to know)? The chance to be IN these places already adds flavor to the soup that is my/your/our life. It already takes us that much further from our comfort zones.

For some people, that's a hard pill to swallow (I have to stop with the cliched statements). For others, it's a door to exciting and endless possibilities. For every single one of us, it's a chance to find out what makes you tick, how you react under stress/pressure, and how you deal with a language barrier. It's a chance for you to grow without you even realizing it (and just like that, this blog post is back on topic)! 

I think that one of the most significant aspects of life is that it puts you in situations you've probably never encountered before and forces you to tackle them head-on. If you've ever been a part of AIESEC before, you know what I'm talking about. You're thrown into a group, or a team, or onto a project that has never been completed before, and you're expected to make it successful with only a handful of ideas and an army of support. You get frustrated; you get stressed out, but in the end, you get results--whether they're the results you wanted or not, you get results. You push yourself to (what you think are) your limits, and you survive, and next time, you're equipped with so much more knowledge and willpower, and it only gets better. That's what travelling teaches you. That's what AIESEC teaches you. That's what life teaches you. 

it's a real thing. i swear.

Yesterday LinkedIn sent me the "Top New for Kiandra" as they do every day, but yesterday something compelled me to actually read it. 
Inside the heavily loaded email was a section entitled Finding Your Passion In Work: 20 Awesome Quotes. If you even remotely know me, you're probably aware that I'm in loveeeee with quotes (so much so that my favorite high school teacher gave me a Big Book of Quotes entitled The Quotationary as a graduation present), so I couldn't resist opening that particular article. 

Now whether all twenty quotes were awesome are now, isn't up for debate in this particular post, but I will say that one jumped out at me.

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. 

Those are some powerful words. At least to me (and since you're in my world...to you as well, reader). We so frequently let our fears control us that we let life and all its many opportunities pass us by. Our fear of being alone. Our fear of being judged. Our fear of failure. Our fear of success. All these things are just pawns in the game of chess. In the grand scheme of things, they're irrelevant. You will out on so many more cool people, and places, and experiences if you let these little fears control you than if you just took the chance. 





Every day is an opportunity to discover something new about yourself. Every person you meet and every place you go is another chance to rewire your hard drive, and create a version of yourself you can be happy with.
I'm taking my chance, and I'm sure I'll take many others after this one is done. The question is: what will you do, reader? Will you shy away from the chance to create yourself, or will you dive right in?

While you ponder that, I'm gonna go dive into some SONA forms. (Don't kill me VP Make Shit Pretty)

It's Simple Math.

Disclaimer: This blog post has revealed to me that I may perhaps be a very confused feminist.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein

The Basics.
Men in Hungary > Men in the States

The Details.
I would support this quasi-mathematical statement over and over again. Don't get me wrong. I love my American boys--full of spunk, and sass, and smart-assery. It's just about everything that keeps me entertained day in and day out. 

But I've come to experience something different whilst in Hungary, and I'm tempted to say...I like it. Practically every guy I've met here has been a class act. A huge gentleman. They open doors for me, they let me go first, they pour my drinks and my soup. The amount of times that I have heard the Hungarian phrase for "Ladies first" is practically equivalent to the amount of times that I've told people that I don't speak Hungarian (hint: that's a lot). 

Here's the thing about standards...they're set by the community around you. I genuinely think that there are just different values, different standards in this part of the world than there are in my part of the world. It begs another question though. I think of my high school friends, the hilarious group of guys that I would play Mafia with (yes, Demon, Rofl I'm talking about you; don't let the "hilarious" comment go to your heads) and conversations that we would have about men and women. They always saw it one way: equality or chivalry because we couldn't have it both ways. It was (is?) too much for us to ask to both be treated as an equal to a man, yet still be privileged and respected as a woman. 

Now at the risk sounding like a crazed feminist, which who knows...I might be, I did mention that this treatment of women in Hungary begs another question. I can't help but wonder, over and over again, what are the women of Hungary sacrificing in order to be respected and idolized by the men of this country? Every time a man pours my soup for me, is it because he wants to be a gentleman and thinks that it's the polite thing to do, or am I just so high on my dainty little pedestal that it would be impossible for me to reach the ladle all by myself... 

Sometimes in times of crisis, the American government finds it necessary to sacrifice certain freedoms in order to increase public security (that's not an issue I'm going into, it's just to set up this point). What sacrifices are the women of Hungary making in order to be treated this way? Lower wages? Less working hours? Or are the sacrifices less obvious than that? A subtle comment here, a misplaced glance there...The whole thing makes me want to dive back into my quest to uncover the hidden secrets in Disney movies. If I wasn't so convinced that I would be terrible at it, maybe I would be a Film major...or a Women's Studies major. But I'm not particularly fond of doing things that I think I'm bad at (take OChem, for example).

So at this point, you're probably more than a little confused. I said that I thought Hungarian men were better than American men (smash), but I seem to only be criticizing and critiquing their actions. Hah, like America's stance of women is one to be particularly proud of (thank you Todd Akin). I absolutely adore being around my Hungarian boys. They are some of the sweetest, kindest, funniest people I have ever been around, and I know they would take me to Heaven, Hell and back if I asked them too. I think that's all I'd like in the States knowing that there are people out there who have the capabilities to laugh with me, play with me, joke with me, but at the end of the day still respect the hell out of me. At the end of the day, they still open doors for me; they still care about more than just themselves. Chivalry, contrary to popular belief, is not dead. 

Again, all of this isn't to say that I don't love my American boys; I do. All I'm saying is, my expectations are now higher. I come back in a little more than 3 weeks, guys. If you know me well enough, you know what all too appropriate quote I would typically reference at this point in my rantings/ventings/bloggings. 



Well, I've taken a new stance. Sir William wasn't right about everything, was he?

The Real World.

Disclaimer: This post is being written based almost entirely on the wishes of my best friend. (I hope you're happy)

"We all pay for sex; at least hookers are honest about the price." Tim Roth, Lie to Me

You know, you would think that with the vast amounts of The Real World that I watched with my brother, I would be above the petty arguments and little disagreements that seem to take place daily on the show. 


You would be wrong about this. You stick five strangers in one house; there are bound to be conflicts--big and small. 

The Basics.
I have never had the distinct...pleasure...of living with strangers. I'm not sure I like it. 
I hate doing laundry. I would rather exhaust my entire wardrobe, no matter how weather-inappropriate that is.
I hate being interrupted. More than basically anything else in the world. 
Time is so fleeting. 

The Details. 
You've probably heard the opening at some point in your life: 

This is the true story of 7 strangers, picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

 Well, that, for all intents and purposes is my life right now. Except it would sound more like: 

This is the mostly true story of 5 international strangers thrown together by AIESEC live in a flat, work together and have their lives sporadically photographed to find out what happens when people step out of their comfort zones and start getting weird. 

yes, I have always been adorable.

Here's the thing. I have always had the distinct pleasure of living with someone I knew. In my younger days, I shared close quarters with my younger brother. Not exactly anyone's ideal roommate, but we were family, so it was chill. 
When I went to UGA, my roommate was a girl I had known for 7 years before that. We got each other. She's having a bad day? Buy her Chick-fil-A. Is she mad at someone? Trash talk them with her. Is she bored? Let's watch a movie (preferably with either a hot guy or Bruce Willis in it). 

We had a system, and it worked. For two years, I was blessed with on of the best roommates a girl could have, so perhaps I'm just a little bit spoiled. Take everything I say from here with a grain of salt--unless you already do that, in which case, that advice is a little late. 

I'm not anyone's ideal roommate, I can admit that. However, there's a difference between not being the "ideal" person to live with and being the roommate who leaves dirty food and empty bottles on the table, the roommate who doesn't do the dishes, the roommate who has loud Skype conversations in other languages (Damn you English for being so universally known), the roommate who can't have one conversation without mentioning his/her boyfriend/girlfriend. Don't get me wrong; I love my flatmates, and I could not at all imagine doing this project or being in Szeged without them. Sometimes I just wish I had a safe-haven--a place to run away to that would be my own. 

On the other hand, they all love to cook, and have made me 3 meals since we've been in our new flat (I like food, okay?!).

Also, I would like to take this time to thank my previous roommate for putting up with me and all my annoying shenanigans for the past two years. <3

Next.
I have yet to do laundry. For the two weeks that I've been here (wow, it's been over two weeks already), I have yet to wash a single garment. Laundry doesn't seem like fun. Not that I would know from personal experience, mymommayormaynotdomylaundryforme. DON'T JUDGE ME. My mom loves me; don't hate. But as a side effect, I just have no desire to do my own laundry. I mean...it's not that I don't know how to...I can...I just don't want to. Let's see how long I can hold out. 

Next.
People are all very excited to talk to me--don't ask me why, I swear I haven't lied and told them I'm interesting or anything. Something that I rarely have to deal with in the States though keeps happening here. Every time I'm in the middle of a conversation with one of my flatmates, (s)he interrupts me. I would understand if it were once or twice in a week...but (s)he literally interrupts me in every conversation we have every day. And if my eye rolls, sighs, and annoyed looks weren't enough, I have blatantly told him/her I HATE being interrupted. It's getting worse and worse every day. I might hafta slap a hoe. 

Next.
Like I mentioned before, this is already my second week here. Every morning I wake up in Hungary is another day closer to me waking up in my bed in my parent's house in the States. There are without a doubt things that I miss about home, like sweet tea, and my family (priorities), and my friends, and my car, but it seems impossible to me that I after I leave a month from now, I
won't see the other trainees again; I won't see the kids at the camp again; I won't see AIESEC Szeged again. 

AIESEC Szeged Current and Elect EB.

I read somewhere that life has a mysterious way of bringing important people back into your life, and I don't know how true that is. All I know is that somehow, someway, at sometime, I will be with some of these people again. We've shared too much; we've grown too much, and I love them all too much for July 24th to be the last time I ever see them ever again. I won't allow that. 

'Mericuh.

Disclaimer: Heavy on media; low on content. 

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home." Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

I keep finding small bits of the States in Hungary. I'm not sure if it's because I'm unintentionally looking for similarities or because I've been asked to make a presentation on objects that remind of the US and objects drastically different from the US. 

The Basics.
I can turn just about anything I see into an object that is either very American, or not so American. If I can't find a way to turn this off, I'll be looking at Hungary through an American-lens for the rest of my stay. However, I keep discovering "America" in the strangest of places. 

The Details.
I'm not quite sure when my compare/contrast attitude began exactly, but it's like watching reality tv. You know it's not helping you. You're not really learning anything new, but you just can't stop. One of the most sentimental things that I've seen thus far was as simple as a truck. A UPS truck. I can't help but smile looking at this picture, even now, because it reminds me of my mommy. She works at UPS--she doesn't drive trucks though--, and she's the reason I'm even in this country right now (sorry Dad). She's always let me have the world, usually figuratively, and she is easily my number one supporter in the world. I can feel myself getting emotional, so I'm gonna move on now. 

I've already touched on my penchant for buying Sprite and Cheetos because of their familiarity, so I'll just gloss over that, and get to the one that will surprise you the least. McDonalds and Burger King...but let's be real, mostly McDonalds. Not a day goes by that I don't walk past McDonald's on my way to work, on my way home, on my way to the McDonalds line. And if it weren't for the foreigner letters, that seems to make words, lining the menu, I could almost convince myself that I'm back in Athen buying Caitlyn a sweet tea (except without the option of buying sweet tea). I had to give in at least once. I was doing very important research on the cultural differences on an American restaurant in a foreign country. I'm still in the data collection phase, but I'll let you read the paper if you'd like. 

The strangest of all, I think, was last night when the other trainees and I decided to go out for a beer. There, in the front of the bar, hanging in all it's glory was an American flag. I don't know if it was a political statement of some kind or just a random piece of decoration that they liked. Whatever, I enjoyed getting my drink on in the presence of the flag. 'Mericuh. 

Life: 1 Kiandra: 0

Disclaimer: I am an angry, angryyyyy individual right now.

So life decided that I was sleeping too peacefully. Life decided that I was a little bit too comfortable, so life decided to through me a little surprise party. 

A party that was held in my bed. 

With only bed bugs as the invited guests. 

Now this "party" life has thrown me could be caused by the new digs us interns have recently found ourselves in this morning, or it could have been one of the two new interns we have staying with us tonight. The timing was too similar to know which one encouraged the addition of a few new friends in my bed. What do the "how"s matter anyway? Unless it's "how do I backtrack and erase this experience from my memory", I don't really think it's a question worth answering at the current local time of 3AM. 

You win, life. I take it back; culture shock attained. I take it back. 

Igen. Nem. Citromos.

Disclaimer: As I write this  post, the three Summer for Youth interns are typing away on their own laptops, and Cherry, our newest addition, is having a Skype call even though all she wanted to do was go to sleep. My atmospheric indie is not loud enough to drown her out. 

"It's a really weird feeling meeting a foreigner for the first time, and realizing that there are real people outside of your country." Lali

So you would think that I would be prepared to experience culture shock. You would think that as one of the Vice Presidents of a non-profit aimed at decreasing cultural tensions/barriers/stereotypes, I would be expecting my life in Hungary to be drastically different from my life in the States. You would think that I would be prepared to be observed, stared down, and talked about just because I looked (and sounded) different than everyone else. 

And you would be right. 

I was expecting all of these things, and I am almost surprised that I'm not experiencing them more. 

Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on my internship, or maybe I've studied too much about culture shock and the stages of adjustment for my exchange participants. I've only been here for four days now, and I'm already waiting on some sort of life-changing, mind-altering awakening. 

I'm ready for my culture shock. 

The Basics.

Hungarians put interesting topics on their pizza.

Beer is often cheaper than water. 

If you don't have a bike, you're probably the only one. 

Swear words are more fun to learn than relevant ones. 

Cheetos come in flavors.

The Details.

1. So if you follow my twitter--@calledkiandra in case you're interested--, you've already seen my post detailing one of my first dinners in Hungary. Pizza and beer (my first legally purchased beer ever!). After dealing with the initial American problem of converting the pizza size from centimeters to inches, I settled on a 26 centimeter (tell me what that is in inches without looking it up) pizza with ham on it. For the relatively low price of $4.45 (including delivery), my pizza arrived at Lali's, and I was ready to dive into it. And it. Was. Delicious. Warm crust...ham...cheese...corn? To say, that finding that sweet corn on my ham and cheese pizza was a bit shocking would be an understatement. Don't get me wrong though, it was great! Corn on pizza. Who knew?

2. This wasn't so much of a culture shock as it was an adjustment. Here's how I justify it. I am a college student. Therefore, I am working on a college student budget (read: I'm poor). Anything I can do to save money (not just in Hungary, this is a general trend in my life), I will do with little to no hesitation. I need to drink water, right? It's a fairly essential part of the whole "being alive" thing. Well, beer has water in it. The prices of beer fluctuates around 210-250 forint (roughly 1 US Dollar). The price of water is closer to 230-270 forint. It would be a disservice to my parents and my wise, financial upbringing to spend more money on pure water when I could easily just buy beer (with water in it!) for less. You're welcome Mom and Dad. 

3. Never in my life have I seen people who bike more. Everyone seems to own their own set of wheels. A car, roller skates, a skateboard, a bike (and that in reverse order of frequency), and unless they're out for a jog or trying to catch a trolley, everyone is on wheels all the time. If I were the kind of girl to get self-conscious easily, it would make me feel bad about not touching my own bike after I became old enough to drive. Even now as the urges to ride a bike rise, I remember that I have a month long bus pass, and that idea quickly fades away. Exercise is for healthy people.

4. My knowledge of the Hungarian language is about as vast of my knowledge of organic chemistry (ouch, bad joke). However, I'm learning--and surprisingly, retaining--a little bit more every day. Thus far, my vocabulary consists of: yes, no, lemon, help me, I don't understand, thank you, you're welcome (though I forget this one repeatedly), gold, potato, office, pull, hamburger, pub, and fuck off. I really think I've covered all the bases here. You're free to assume which words I learned first, and in which situations I've obtained these vocabulary words. Oh! I also know the words for 1, 4, 5, and 7. I know...I'm impressed too. 

5. Going to the supermarket is always a fairly arduous task for me (but that's a post for another day), but I have consistently bought two objects no matter when I enter the grocery store--sprite and Cheetos. At first, I think it was just me taking comfort in the only two things in the store that I understand, but now even as my Hungarian has improved (kis burgonya!) I find myself going back to those two staple objects. Sprite is arguably the only soda I feel comfortable drinking since I stopped drinking soda almost 6 years ago, and I think the only thing bringing me back to the Cheetos are their crazy flavors. Seriously America needs to step their game up if they ever want me to buy Cheetos again. Puffy, Flamin' Hot, and Original? Pshh. Try Ketchup, Hamburger, and Pizzerini (seriously, try them. they're delicious). Adventurous Hungarian dining? Not quite. But that's not gonna stop me. 

Baby steps, people. Baby steps. 

Well, that's all for now. Go treat yourself to a beer after reading this, unless you're underage, then go enjoy some Hungarian pizza.

Meet the Players.

Disclaimer: This blog post was brought to you with the help of the ever so lovely Hey Ocean!'s Make A New Dance Up.

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream; a dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon

Allow me to introduce you to the other players in this game of "explore the world." 

The Basics: 

I will be working with three other interns, Anastsiya, Jorge, and Loes. 

The project manager who selected me for this project is Emese. 

The current VPICX (Vice President of Incoming Exchange) for their chapter is Lajos. 

I'm still called Kiandra. 

The Details:

This picture was taken our first time meeting each other. We then proceeded to purposefully get lost in the city of Szeged just to see if we could A.) find anything to eat, and B.) find our way back home. Both missions were successful. We have decided, since then, that we will all take a selfie every day to commemorate the clever stroke of fate that brought us all together on this internship this summer. I think someone is supposed to make a slideshow or something...and since I have all the selfies, I suppose I'll be making the slideshow. No big. 

Meet Anastsiya.

This lovely lady is Anastsiya. However, she'd prefer you call her Nastya. Nastya is a 19 year old Junior who is studying at Yale Univeristy in the United States, but she's originally from Russia and plans to go back to Russia as soon as she graduates. She often finds herself torn between majoring in mathematics or physics (a debate I do not have as much difficulty with). She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met, apologizing profusely for even the smallest things. Nastya is very, very interested (read: obsessed) with a game called SET. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it sooner or later. (If you'd like to give it a whirl, you can play here.) Nastya and I share a bed, at least until our housing situation gets worked out. At night, we find ourselves watching random TV shows, watching Donnie Darko (not recommended at night), or just talking about classes. Nastya is a pretty classic individual with a dark sense of humor. It only makes sense that we get along.

Meet Jorge.

Jorge would prefer you call him George. George is another one of the trainees on this project, the only guy. He, like Nastya and I, is a Junior. He's a bit older than us (something Nastya likes to remind him of consistently) at the ripe old age of 21. He's Mexican, from the same LC as some of the people I met when I was in Panama in April (AIESEC UNAM). George is a pretty quiet guy. He laughs a lot though, so he makes me feel like I'm funnier than I actually am. However, when he has something that he wants to talk about, he will definitely speak up. So far, I've learned that when George was younger, his list of career choices ranged from professional wrestler (complete with colorful face masks; think: Lucha Libre with a tie-dye kit), to baseball player, to soccer star. He's also an avid supporter of Grand Prix racing. Our first night here, he was quite enthralled by the race as one of the Mexican racers he supported when around the track 70 times. The race concluded, and according to George, "it was not a good race for the Mexicans." I like George. He's a funny guy. 

Meet Loes.

Of the three other trainees, I know the least about Loes. That could be due to the fact that A) I only met her 30 minutes before writing this blog post about her, and B) she is not staying in the flat with us tonight. So let me tell you what I do know about Loes. First off, you're probably reading her name wrong. It's not Low-es, it's Low-sh. She's from the Netherlands, but not from Amsterdam or Rotterdam. She's from Utrecht. From what I currently understand, she isn't an AIESEC member, just an EP like Nastya. Loes seems like a free spirit. She decided to walk to the flat that she was staying in without an umbrella even though the rain was pretty heavy because the rain was refreshing. I don't know many people who would make a decision like that, so Loes got a couple cool points for that in my book. More on Loes in later posts as I figure out what she's all about. She wraps up the trainee section though. Long live TMASFYTE!